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What is is time —Bob Holman

Absence was present while you were away

I felt the presence of absence surrounding my breasts

pressing at my skin from the inside out

emptying my veins and lungs

squeezing out the reverse image

of a familiar orgasmic howl

My body was caressed by a vacuum

that was not here when your body was here

and was not here before your body was here

I fell asleep with the figment of your touch

or the mirage of your voice

your ghost finger call tracing

transpacific fiber optic cable

to ring my night table

You traveled here in sleep synapses

snapshots of neurons or electrons

an everpresent chemical or charge

catalyst to nocturnal omissions

I felt your shadow blanketing my bed in darkness

morning light staining my room with bleached emptiness

My sheets filled with the smell of a vacancy

that was absent before you were absent

and was absent before you were present

Temptation buzzed outside the screen window

while the scent of your blood was missed

I learned how to be in bars

perched almost comfortable to the tune of

someonelses simile smile

some other memory of somebody with some body

some bonyhipped boy body with tempter hands and thighs

circling coming to cling and claw

some memory of bruises from the ribs elbows and knees

that used to dance with me before you

some memory that nobody can satisfy

the hunger for the fullness of the flesh of you

you the man you the body that fits

the softness of the flesh of my body

I dined on the taste of famine

that was starved when you were a feast

and was not salty when I swallowed you

and was never served before you were an only meal

I felt the presence of absence during time away

While you were gone I wrote a poem

that if not created by the presence of your absence

could not be lost and could not be found

before is is was

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